In the beginning children were too small to harm themselves even if they wanted to. They eat only soft things that are hard to choke on. Even when they get bigger, though, you’ll find it’s hard for them to hurt themselves badly. A lot of parents are worried about their kids these days. They ask themselves questions like; Will they find a job? Will they have enough money? Will someone hurt them or break their heart? Will they understand what matters most in life? And there are big questions too, with no clear answers: Who will guide them when you’re gone? How will they cope with all they’ll inevitably face in life? How can you help them be prepared for the future, so they can handle anything that comes their way? etc.
It’s easy to worry about your kids. You’re raising them all by yourself, and you want to do a good job. It’s not just that you hope they’ll turn out well—you have a strong desire for them to become who you know they can be, and to make the world a better place than it is now.
The fact that you care so much is proof that you’re already doing something right—and because of that, your children are going to be fine.
There are so many pressures placed on children today and so many things that can “go wrong!” That thought process is understandable, but here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter and don’t worry about it.
Your kids are going to be fine.
You will protect them by preparing them
You probably have a deep desire to protect your children: you want them to be happy and successful. You want them to have all the tools they need to become successful, safe adults. And you want them to be as protected from life’s challenges as possible.
But it’s important to remember that you can’t protect your kids from everything. And some of the lessons they’ll learn from life are going to come at a cost—you might not like how they feel at the time, but in the long run, those challenges will make them stronger and even more capable than if you had shielded them from everything.
When preparing for the future, your first priority should be protecting yourself and your family members from physical harm.
It’s natural—you love them, and you don’t want to see anything bad happen to them. But if you’re not careful, that worry can creep out of control and cause you to do things that are actually harmful.
Think about it: as you go through your daily life, you have to make thousands of decisions—getting dressed, what route to drive home from work, whether or not it’s worth it to stop by at the mall. You can make these choices quickly and automatically, with little effort or thought required.
But if there’s one thing that throws people off guard, it’s their kids. Your parental instincts kick in and suddenly instead of an easy choice, everything becomes an agonizing dilemma: Do I let my child play at the playground by himself? How much TV should he watch? Is it okay for him to ride his bike without a helmet?
The truth is that most of these questions don’t really matter. If you ask yourself what the absolute worst thing is that could happen if your child does X, the answer is usually just a moment of panic and a few stinging words from another parent.
Your kids are really not that fragile. They are capable of dealing with a lot of garbage. You can’t protect them from everything, even if you want to. They need to learn how to deal with life on their own.
The life lessons your children are really learning
You love your kids and you want to give them the best life possible, so it might seem like common sense to do everything you can for them. But what about when you’re sheltering them from the very things that could help them become successful and happy in the long run?
Sure, there are plenty of dangers out there for kids these days—and you want to protect your child from all of them. But in our efforts to keep our children from ever experiencing any pain or danger, we can sometimes teach them that the world is a scary place that’s out to get them—which leads not just to fears but also a lower sense of self-confidence and self-sufficiency. We all want our children to grow up feeling empowered, with the tools they need to handle their lives and their responsibilities. But if we don’t give them opportunities to learn how to deal with risks and problems on their own, it may come as a surprise when they can’t cope with those things later on.
We should be teaching our kids how to handle risks through experience, so they understand how to cope with those occurrences when they inevitably happen. That means letting our kids make some little mistakes here and there.
You have a big influence on your kids
You are the most important influence in your children’s lives, and they look to you for guidance. Your kids will do what you do, not necessarily what you say.
Your kids are going to be fine. They’ll make it through this world just fine. You can help them to develop a sense of right and wrong by teaching them that doing things that make others happy is a wonderful thing. If your child learns that giving is more important than receiving, your child will be better off.
I’m not saying that there won’t be challenges out there for them, because there certainly will be. But I’m saying that you can prepare your child for those challenges by showing them how to be kind and giving to others in everyday life.
At some point, they’re going to become adults and they’re going to have jobs, families of their own and friends who influence one another in all sorts of ways. You need to trust that your kids are going to be fine. These are some things you might want for your children:
I want them to have the fear of God and be loving.
I want them to learn how to do things themselves because no one will always be there for them.
I want them to figure out what they believe in and stand by their principles, even when they’re unpopular.
I want them to know how much I love them even when I’m not saying it or showing it every minute of every day.
A written letter to your kids so they know you love them
Here are some random letters written by some parents to their kids to show how much they love them.
Dear [Kids’ Names],
Your mom and I love you. We think you’re great, and we hope that you know that we are incredibly proud of you and all that you do. I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but we really have our heads on straight—we remembered to coat the chicken in the butter, pour the milk into the cereal, and use “we” instead of “I” in this letter.
That said, there is one thing your mom and I do that we want to apologize for right now, so that when you’re older you’ll be able to look back on this letter and remember this moment with a smile. It’s important for us to let you know that we’ve been getting some unsolicited advice from friends and family about how to raise you guys, and while most of it has been good advice, some of it has been a bit overbearing. You may not see it now, but these people actually care a lot about you guys; they were trying to help us out because they want what’s best for you. And even if their intentions were good, we’re sorry if their suggestions ever upset or offended us in any way.
We love you so much…
From you fantastic parents.
Dear future kids,
I know that you are worried about the world—the adults around you seem to be, so why shouldn’t you be? I’m sure it seems like a scary place out there. But I want you to know that things will work out for you. You might not even be alive when this is published, and if that’s the case, I’m sorry for making you worry about it (although it’s good to have things to look forward to).
I need you to understand, though, that no matter what happens in your life, no matter how hard things get or how much suffering there is in the world, that all of that will never compare to what it means to be loved by your parents. Your family loves you so much more than anything else in the world, even when they’re angry at each other. And even if they get hurt or die before you do, they’ll still love you—and one day, every single one of them will die. You’re going to live a long time.
With love from dad and mum…
Wait a moment…
Want to ask, when last did you show your kid how much you love them? It’s not necessary you buy them gifts on a children’s day. You can send a message in writing to show how much you love them…
Show some love this season, it can never be too much…
Your kid will be fine…!